In a few days, we will be flipping our new calendar and dumping old ones. 2009 has been a very busy and eventful year for me. Looking back the 12 pages of my soon-to-be-discarded calendar, it is like reading 365 pages of my frantic life. Though it sounded cliche, time flies past really really fast.. and here I am on the brink of 2010.
Year end is always filled with festivities and joy. I have always look forward to it and of course girls crave for it due to the year end sale. Shopping, shopping, shopping!! But every year end, I would look back and think I had done or the lack of doing!
The past one year has not been exactly smooth with many potholes in between. While I did not wish for perfection, neither I did not expect to endure multiple tribulations. At the end of 2008 and nearing 2009, my past relationship of 3 years ended. I was devastated and it took me a while to get over it. The break-up was inevitable but I learnt a lot about relationships.
In mid-2009, I faced great challenges in my career which explained why I was constantly whining about being preoccupied with work. Office politics, changes in working environment and the demanding pace of my job zapped every drop of my energy and diluted my passion. My health deteriorated and my weight dropped. There were times I had thought of giving up and walking away. I felt overworked and unappreciated. Then I noticed a change in my behaviour, I was always getting angry and taking it out on my loved ones. I couldn't express my frustrations at work and I did not know how to manage my stress. I kept suppressing my negative feelings and it affected my life. I was constantly unhappy.
A kind angel walked in to my life at my lowest point. She spread her positive energy and her high spirits to me. We celebrated Christmas 2008 and shared New Year 2009 together. She soothed my wrenched heart and made me believe in love again. She was there for me when I faced turbulent times at work. She silently cried when I was angry and took it out on her. Despite all, she stood by me, supported and comforted my weary soul.
I realised I was wrong.
I should not bring work problems in to our relationship. It was not fair to single her out as an easy target to unleash my anger. I promised her to manage my stress. She help lifted me out of the hell hole I was sinking in. I pull myself together and re-ignited the passion in my career. Giving up is too cowardice and I summoned enormous mental strength to ride over the difficulties. I preservered and felt a boost of energy in my life.
There are many things I would like to change or should have done in 2009 but I am no time traveller. I can only steel my resolve and hope to achieve them in 2010.
Thank you dear for being patient and understanding. You are the silver lining in my life in 2009. I am sorry for the angry words but I don't mean it. Ah... not to forget my other silver lining... my photoshoot with FHM !! :D
Dear Angel, we have spent Christmas 2009 together and now I look forward to welcome 2010 with you.
Farewell 2009... and Happy New Year 2010!!
