My Father

I only have vague memories of him.

He was tall, permed hair (it was trendy then) and had a thick moustache. He rarely spoke but he had a deep stern voice. I seldom saw him as he was usually working out of town and came back to see me and mom probably once every 3 to 4 months. Whenever he was at home, I was afraid of him as he was very strict. I could not recollect ever been hugged by him.

When I was in primary school, I would wait for my mom to pick me up from school everyday. Usually I was the last student to leave. I see all my classmates' fathers fetching them home. I always stood alone under the shady trees at the school gates wondering if my father would suddenly appear and take me home.

But he never did.

On Sports Day, my friends' daddies and families would came in droves to support and cheer for them. I stood alone at the starting line of the tracks hearing cheers of encouragement which was not meant for me. When the shot was fired, I ran as fast as I could. I was secretly hoping my daddy would be waiting for me at the finishing line to catch and hug me.

But he never did.

At school my friends asked me do I have a father? Because they never once saw him take me home from school. They laughed and sneered at me. They called me nasty names but I never dared tell my mom. I know he was just away working. I know I have a father.

Everytime when I see daddy's car coming home, I jumped with joy. I would run in to the kitchen to announce the breaking news to mom. Then I rushed out to greet him loudly.

"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! You're home!" I shouted excitedly.

I guess I wanted everyone in the village to know that my father has returned. I think I wanted everyone to know I do have a daddy.

One day when mom fetched me home after work, we saw a policeman in front of our house. The policeman said something to mom but I could not understand him. Suddenly mom sat down in front of me and broke dwon in tears. She hugged me very tightly I could barely breathe. All my neighbours came out and I think the policeman said the same thing to them. All of the women were crying with my mom. The men were shaking their heads in disbelief.

I remembered asking one auntie what has happened. She told me my father has died in a serious accident.

"What is died?" I asked again.

"It means your daddy won't come home anymore. You won't see him again dear child." her voice breaking in between sobs.

I was too young to understand what death meant. To me, it just meant he would never pick me up from school. I would never be able to greet him at the house gates again. I would never see him again. Tears welled up my eyes and began streaming down. Even though he was rarely there for me but at least I still had a father then.

But now, he was gone forever.

All that happened more than 25 years ago but I still clearly remember that fateful day. That day, this tragic news broke our hearts. The day everything changed in my life.

To this day, I have never celebrated Father's Day.

But he is still my dear father in my heart forever.. Happy Father's Day, daddy.

Father's Day falls on the 3rd Sunday on 21st June 2009. For those of you who still have a chance to celebrate this special day with your daddy, do cherish the moment. Father's Day is always second to Mother's Day but that doesn't mean a father is any lesser than a mother.

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And don't forget to wish your daddy a Happy Father's Day! :)